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The Blame Game

It is probably human nature; when ever things go wrong we tend to blame everything under the sun but ourselves. We love to play the blame game. The truth is that in you, in each one of us lies the cause for whatever enters our lives. The sooner you realize this truth the better it is for you. The day you begin to take responsibility for your own life, is the day you begin to change your life to what you want it to be.

If you are having one nasty experience after another, it isn’t that God or Universe is trying to punish you for something, but there is some kind of lesson that you need to learn. Be it a lesson of forgiveness, kindness or unconditional love. Every person or situation that enters your life does so to teach you something. When you learn, you grow; you gain wisdom. When you improve mentally so does your life. Your outer world is only the reflection of your inner world. When you resist, you oppose and refuse to learn, you go around in circles and face the same experiences again and again.

There is a nice lady I know, very polite and helpful to everyone. However her relationships in life cause her nothing but pain and suffering. I wonder at times about her situation. On the surface she is doing all the right things. I believe firmly that to receive love you must first give love. So what is the problem with her? Why she isn’t getting back what she is giving out? The answer came to me whilst she was talking to me the other day. I noticed that she speaks a lot about what she does for other people. Nothing wrong about that, on the contrary as someone once said, “You are blessed so you can be a blessing”. However it is unwise to take the burdens that you can’t carry.

Don’t spend all of your time doing things for others while neglecting your own life. If you do that then sooner or later you will start to resent the very same people that you were trying to help, especially if you are not getting anything in return from them. When you do help someone then do it because of the goodness of your own heart without expecting ANYTHING in return. Don’t ignore your own responsibilities otherwise later you will be tempted to blame others for your failure. Also don’t talk a lot about what favours you did for your friends. Don’t tell people how good you are; show them.

I am sympathetic to my friend; she is completely unaware of her own inner motives. She is of the opinion that people treat her badly because she is too nice and as the saying goes good guys finish last. She believes that her niceness is causing all sort of trouble for her. This kind of thinking, this kind of “Me against the world”, mentality is bringing more similar negative experiences to her life. Also in our conversations she frequently mentions that she hates men. Since when? I asked her once. “Since forever”, she replied. A nasty divorce between her parents planted this seed of hatred in her mind towards men. It is no wonder that she attracts men to her life who only confirm what she already believes.

Your predominate mental attitude determines the kind of situations you face. The Law of Attraction will bring to you whatever it is that you focus on. As I have said in one of my previous articles this law is not limited to only your positive thoughts but the other ones too. For example if you have thoughts of love, you will attract the love of others. You will have circumstances and situations in accordance with your thoughts. You will meet people who have similar thought patterns. On the other hand if you have thoughts of hatred, malice, suspicion or an “Us against them mentality”, you will find yourself in situations where these thoughts will manifest into reality.

It doesn’t matter what your thoughts are, or whether they serve you or not, or whether they are good or not. Thoughts are like gravity in the sense that they don’t pass judgement, they just do their thing. It is better to not to help someone then to help them while sending out negative or resentful thoughts. This kind of help will do more harm then good to you and to the other person. Your thoughts have the power to influence others much more then your words so be cautious of your inner thoughts and feelings.

Intentions shape your reality and thus your relationships. Intention is not a mere wish or a desire. It is when you decide to do something by the use of your will. Your every action is backed up by conscious or unconscious intention. If your intentions are good then the results of your actions will be good also.

As long as you get affected by what others say or think about you, you will not lead a happy and harmonious life. When you give undue importance to the opinions of others then behind your every deed and action is a conscious or unconscious desire to be praised by them. The lady I was talking about before gets overly happy if someone praises her and overly discouraged if someone criticises her. Her happiness is entirely in the hands of others, they have all the power over her.

Situations come and go, people behave towards you positively or negatively but what really matters is YOUR reaction to them. Be your own person, have your own opinions. It is not your business what someone else thinks about you. You are what you are, it should not matter to you if people sing praises about you or not.

Remember your higher self that is connected to infinite wisdom and power, in other words God. Let your individuality shine, let your inner strength manifest itself. If you want to help someone, do it unconditionally. Don’t do it for praise or recognition. If you want to receive love then you must first give love unconditionally. A wise man once said, “If you want the whole world to love you then you must first love the whole world”. Put love and goodwill in all that you do and you will be amazed at the good that you will be able to do for yourself and for others.

Higher Self, the Real You >

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