Every morning upon awakening

by Brad Stevenson
(New Mexico)

At the end of the day it is only you and you alone that gets in the way of your joy and well being. Every morning upon awakening, a new day will greet you. This day is neutral and will operate as it does without your permission. You’ll have no control over people, places and situations, leaving you with the options of acceptance or resistance. In your ability to accept life on life’s terms there will be a greater abundance of joy and well being. To the degree you choose to live in resistance will be directly proportionate to your misery and unhappiness. The very first thing that needs to be accomplished when we are bidding for change is to learn to get out of our own way, by recognizing that we are the ones blocking the doorway. Relationships of any kind are no different.

When couples have the ability to communicate and interact with one another effectively, it can ward off potential disasters and enrich the depth of relationships. Very few of us have had sufficient modeling to talk and listen in a collaborative effort that demands respect and integrity.

There are many hard to talk about topics that couples learn to avoid throughout their relational journey. In our research we have found it is largely due to the fear of feeling inadequate, as well as an attempt to avoid conflict. Consequently, these topics of discussion get “swept under the carpet” in the hopes they will somehow mysteriously rectify themselves.

The more skilled you are as a couple at regulating anger and anxiety, the greater chance of success you will have at discussing these topics successfully, and in return deepen the connection within the relationship. I have learned that there are 3 entities within every relationship. They consist of the 2 individuals as well as the relationship itself.

The 2 individuals can often fall into polarized patterns and any attempt to address the conflicting issues result in fighting. Over time it isn’t unusual for the couple to distance from one another, feel resentment towards each other, and live with the distancing until it becomes too unbearable. Hence, the relational entity is severely damaged while the 2 individuals perpetuate the distancing.

The Effective Communication skills are one key to this success. The Power of THANKS(R) can do this and more.....The principles in THANKS: Trustworthiness, Honesty, Amends, Neutrality, Kindness, and Surrender
(THANKS® for Everything)