CHAPTER 2

THE GETTING MAD HABIT

IT is a fact that a great many people confess that they cannot even play a game of cards without getting mad — either at their own "luck," or the "stupidity" of their partners, or the crankiness of somebody else.

Which reminds me how I overcame a habit of "getting mad" when the children interrupted me in the midst of some exciting tale just when the villain was clutching Guinevere and nobody near to save. When I was reading something specially thrilling — at that time I read only religious stories — the children seemed possessed to tease me for this, that, and the other. And I was cross before I thought. And I thought I "couldn't help it," but I did hate myself for the crossness.

Then one day in my silence hour this sentence dropped into my consciousness, alongside the thought of my impatience with the children — "If thy right hand cause thee to offend cut it off and cast it from thee." It was like cutting off my right hand to give up reading those religious novels which "did me so much good." But the voice of the spirit had spoken. I swore off on novel reading. For a whole year I read not a single novel.

Then a friend asked me to read a new religious novel. I did. It was the most absorbing story! And the children seemed doubly possessed to interrupt me! And everybody else into the bargain! I read every minute I could until the story was finished. Then I realized that I had been interrupted ninety-nine times, more or less, and hadn't been even tempted to impatience a single time.

You see, I had grown in that year, grown in self- control; or rather I had learned poise, the power to turn readily from one thing to another. If I had kept on reading novels that year I would have wasted much energy in impatience, and would have fixed upon myself the habit of flying off the handle at interruptions. As it was, the spirit led me to do just the right thing, and I did it— the one thing that enabled me to do what I had longed and prayed to be able to do, control my temper.

The devil of crossness certainly does get into everybody who comes into contact with the cross one. Others may have better self-command than to show it, but they feel the cross vibrations just the same.

And when you have made somebody cross you only make her crosser by mental affirmations of "I love you!" When you have made her cross she resents you and doesn't want you to love her. Do you want the love of some "hateful old thing'' who is mean to you? Of course not. You want her to let you alone.

Next time you start vibrations of crossness change them by speaking PEACE to the troubled waves. To be still is the cure for crossness. After things are all quiet and peaceful again, then is time to start the I-love-you vibrations.

It is like this: Crossness starts vibrations across other people's vibrations; just as if your friend had dropped a pebble into a pool, making neat little ripples radiating toward the shore; and then you threw in two or three more pebbles, each starting its own series of ripples and chopping up the ripples your friend started. Crossness is like that — your vibrations go across your friends' vibrations.

You see peace is the only thing that will stop the cross-vibrations and make it possible to start harmonious ones.

Just remember this next time you make somebody cross. Don't put your arms around her the next minute and tell her you're sorry. And don't try to jolly it off. If you do she will be very apt to flounce away from you, or say something ugly to add to the general crossness. Just let go — don't try to "start harmonious vibrations" — be still and let the atmosphere calm down a bit. Then change the subject. Later you can apologize if you want to, and she — or he — will meet you half-way or better.

The same principle works with a cross child. Scoldings, lectures, slaps, punishment, all add to the general crossness of vibrations, until a regular psychic storm tosses both parent and child into doing what neither would dream of doing if let alone. If the child is sent to his room and the mother goes to hers, the cross vibrations will soon quiet down, when they will find it very easy to come to an understanding.

The parent who has gumption enough to speak peace first can do anything with a child — anything that is right.

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