CHAPTER 8WHEN YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T AGREE
I have before me a letter from a woman whose husband pretends to think she does not love him because: she believes in New Thought. And here is my reply: OF course it is ridiculous for your husband to imagine that your New Thought is a proof that you do not love him. I wonder if he thinks that it would be possible for you to express your love for him by stopping the breath, or the digestive process. I wonder if he thinks you can stop thinking, even if your thoughts are "a form of insanity"! Of course you cannot do it. These things are essential to your being, and you cannot change your ideas to please anybody. If I were in your place I would explain this to him calmly, once and for all. Leave all sentimentality out of the explanation. State the truth. Tell him that you are very much disappointed to think that he is not a New Thoughter, but that you are willing to grant him the privilege to think and act as he believes to be right — that you do not consider that he does not love you because he cannot think your way. Tell him that the law of self-preservation compels you to preserve your own individuality in thought, and that you must be permitted to eat and breathe and think for yourself, that your acts must be in a measure free. Tell him that the more tolerant he can be of your opinions and the greater freedom he can give you, the mare deeply you can love him. Tell him that you will be as careful as you can, not to obtrude your ideas upon him, and that you trust he will be careful not to explode his opinions in your presence. Then after once quietly declaring your position in this way go quietly and in confidence upon your way. Love and be loved as fully as you can, and know that in due time the truth will wipe away all difficulties between you. In some points you will come to see as he does, and in very many points he will surely come to recognize the Tightness of your views. This is what marriage means — a blending of two lives; a blending of two lines of thought. It means that two people who have looked at life from exactly opposite points of view will come in time to realize that there are other points of view which are equally as true as their own. Have faith that the law of love will prevail around you. Pay no attention to his remarks before the children. If I were in your place I am quite certain that I would get up and leave the room as soon as there began to be the least bit of tension about this matter of New Thought — or any other, for that matter. I would leave the room calmly, in full assurance that the storm would die down and that I would come back later to smiles and happiness. Leave the room before he has a chance to say any of those extreme things. Of course he says them through stress of feeling, and he says more than he really believes when he is calm and in his right mind. Every human being makes this sort of mistakes when he gets worked up over anything. Never mind such remarks. Forget any which you have ever heard. Let go yourself, before he gets worked up. Have faith in the spirit of love which is working in and through you both. I would not stop my New Thought reading, nor my attendance at lectures. Neither would I hide these things. I would simply do them as a matter of course, in the same way as I ate my meals, and I would make them as unobtrusive as possible.
It does no good to hide things — it only causes a fester underneath that is bound to break out sooner or later. Perfect honesty is the only safe platform for married people, even though there is a little war on it once in awhile. This does not mean that you must punctiliously report every movement that you make. It means simply that you are to allow no fake impressions about the general trend of your life. Above all things keep sweet and believe. Be still and know the I am God within you. Remember that the Spirit of Love which is you can and will turn all things to beautiful results. HOW TO LIVE WITH A GROUCHER >
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