Coping with infidelity
This article explains how to cope with infidelity and rebuild your life after such an emotional turmoil, from the point of view of spirituality.
I always say in my articles that every situation in our lives is designed with perfection, we should learn from each incident in our lives. How we think and react in each situation creates the next one. So literally it is in our hands to make or break our lives. One of my readers asked me the other day that his wife cheated on him and had an affair, how is that perfect for him and what kind of lesson he can learn from it.
Well, what I want to say to him and to anyone who is going through a similar experience is this; I cannot tell you what you are suppose to learn from this, you have to figure this out for yourself as I don’t know your personality or your life. However I am sure of one thing that you are to definitely learn something about yourself from this experience. If you are able to do that then not only will you be able to rebuild your life, but also you will have a more abundant life then before. That is why what happened is perfect for you, though it may not seem that way to you now. If you respond to this experience with wisdom, clarity, kindness, patience and understanding it will take you towards perfect ness.
James Allen a renowned British Philosopher said, “When the sting of anguish penetrates the heart of human love; when gloom
and loneliness and desertion cloud the soul of friendship and trust, then it is that the heart turns toward the sheltering love of the Eternal, and finds rest in its silent peace. And whosoever comes to this Love is not turned away comfortless, is not pierced with anguish nor surrounded with gloom; and is never deserted in the dark hour of trial”.
Let me ask you something. What was your life like before this incident? Did you have other smaller negative experiences? For example did you have financial difficulties, if you had, how did you respond to it? Did you complain? Were you not negative? If you were, then in that moment you created your next experience maybe a health problem. How did you respond to it? Were you angry and had a “why me?” attitude. Do you see the pattern now? Were you ever grateful for the blessings in your life? You cannot break the cycle of negativity with more negativity. As I said in my article
, the unfavorable situations in your life will keep repeating themselves unless you loose the negativity in you. That is Universe’s way of healing the splintered parts of your personality so that you become whole and when you do you will stop attracting the painful situations in your life. Loosing negativity doesn’t only mean negative words and actions but also negative thoughts. When you face an undesirable situation with courage and hope, it passes away because there is nothing more you can learn from it, it has served its purpose. You then break the cycle of negativity and start attracting positive and happy situations in your life. In order to get rid of the darkness you don’t need more darkness but you need to let in the light.
Back to the issue at hand, what is an appropriate response to infidelity? The most important thing for you to do in such a situation is to forgive. I have written a lot about forgiveness in my previous articles. I will repeat myself because it is really important in this case. You have to forgive your partner. You do not do that because you are weak or because it is a morally correct thing to do. Forgiveness is not a moral issue; it is purely for your own well being. Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison yourself and expecting the other person to die. Think about it when you don’t forgive, you engage in thoughts of anger or hatred. You get stressed out which most of the times results in physical illness. Does all this affect the physical or emotional health of the person you didn’t forgive? All he or she could feel is sorry for you but that’s it. Do you really need the pity of others? You forgive so that a negative experience doesn’t stick to you. So that it doesn’t weigh you down in to the depths of despair. You do that to gain
, to take control of your life. If you don’t then this negativity in you will have an adverse effect on your future situations. It is up to you and your spouse to decide if you want to continue with your relationship but forgiveness is necessary in both the cases.
If a person close to you have hurt you or you have hurt someone close to your heart then it means that you are hurting deeply and there are some splintered aspects of your personality that needs healing. It is just as important to forgive yourself as it is to forgive the other person. When you forgive yourself then it becomes easier to forgive the other person. If you don’t do that then you will have regrets, which is the double negativity of clinging to negativity. Let the Universe heal you. If you put up a wall of negativity around you then you will prevent the universe from doing just that. Face your life positively and with determination to move on. Remember if you learn your lesson with wisdom and clarity, a wonderful life awaits you.
Even in your most toughest moments when you are working on your feelings of insecurity be light hearted and remind yourself that a little effort from you will go a long way as you will always have the loving assistance of your higher self. Always remember that you have far greater power then you are showing in that moment of weakness. You will be tempted to give in to negativity that is human nature but when you will challenge your negative feelings you will attain real power. You cannot gain authentic power unless you make the choices that stretch you.Every situation that you face is intended for your advancement, for you to learn a valuable lesson about yourself. When you choose to evolve consciously by making responsible choices, you are able to free yourself from your own demons that are your negative thoughts and feelings. As you loose the negative aspects of your personality you gain authentic power you are then on your way to become whole. You are then able to see yourself and those around you with understanding, kindness, and forgiveness and with the wisdom of your soul or higher self. When you respond to life’s difficulties with love and compassion instead of doubt and fear you create you own heaven on earth.
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