The biggest mistake people make when looking for a relationship

If you want to find someone who is much like you in his/her way of thinking and interests then you have to look where such a person is likely to be found. And you can’t expect him/her to recognize you if you hide your true self behind a mask in order to get along with people around you. It is important to show yourself as you really are. When you be who you are, you have a far greater opportunity of meeting people who are valuable to you. If you wear a socially acceptable mask, those you seek will walk right by you.

Of course you cannot find someone who is exactly like you in tastes and attitudes but make sure that you have a similar point of view regarding what really matters to you. You are not very likely to find a person with whom you will be 100% compatible with exact same values and ideas. You are most likely to find a person with whom you have one or more important things in common. In the areas that you have in common you will please the other person most by doing what you want to do. The best way is to limit the relationship to what you have in common so that no sacrifices are required by either person.

If the differences are too great the relationship wouldn't last. Differences that doesn't effect your individuality, allow for them. There is no reason that you can't love each other and still be two individuals.

Success of a relationship depends upon how the differences are handled. It is a mistake to believe that you will agree on every thing. Recognize the differences and accept them and permit the feelings of love to grow rather then be stifled. Each person should continue to have his own interests. The time spend together should be for those things that you both enjoy so that every moment together is a joy rather then an obligation. It is important that each person continue to know that his life is his own making. Each person should be allowed to grow and develop as he/she chooses.



Also don't go in a relationship thinking that you will change your partner to your way of thinking. In fact if you could change the nature of the person you love you would end up with someone other then the person you fell in love with.

You can spend the rest of your life trying to change people so they can be more like you and most probably you won’t succeed. This is such a waste of your energy and time and a cause of a lot of stress. Why would you try to control and change another, there are far more satisfying and enjoyable things that you can do with your life. As someone said, “Allow each person to be what they want to be while you look for people who already are what you want them to be.” There are so many wonderful people in this world so why should you focus on those with whom you have conflicts of interest?

When you loose interest in controlling others you also loose the need to fear or hate anyone. You then stop labeling people as good or bad. Now you can see that each person is seeking his own happiness, in his own way just like you. And there are some people who have a different point of view about things. They are not right or wrong they just look at things differently and have a different perspective. Each person in your life is doing the best he can with what he know. You cannot learn or grow for anyone, we all have to take this journey by ourselves.

When you loose the urge to control others, your happiness depends on no one but you because you let go of the idea that someone has to act in a certain way to please you. When you become the master of your own joy you don't go in a relationship to look for happiness but you enter a relationship to share the joy that you already feel. You don't hold anyone responsible to how you feel but yourself.

When you are free from the need to convince others, life becomes more exciting because now you focus on yourself and discover step by step who you really are and your true potential.

Then your life becomes truly your own to make it almost anything that you want.

If you are not emotionally depended on your partner then you have a greater chance of a harmonious and fun relationship. Think of your relationship as an adventure not a burden.

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