Relationship Questions/Answers
Hi there.
I am a married guy wtih 2 kids. Before marriage, I was in love with a girl but,
we couldn’t marry. Later she got married to somebody else and I too got married.
After marriage, we couldn’t forget each other and landed up meeting again and
continuing the same old affair. It’s about a year now that she doesnt talk to me. I
can’t understand her behaviour. I cant forget her and badly want to know the
reason for her behaviour. Do u think I should talk to her about this?
Asked by Bhavesh from India
Hello Bhavesh. First of all, what are your intentions towards this woman? Are you willing to leave your wife and start a life with her? Be absolutely sure of what it is that you want from this relationship. You must always have a goal, a destination for whatever it is that you are pursuing in life. Do not wonder about aimlessly not knowing where you are headed.
Now for your question, talk to her if it is something you feel strongly about but only if she wants to. Don’t pressure her, give her time to sort out her feelings and I advise you to do the same.
I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your wife. If nothing else then at least show some respect for her; if you do see your woman friend then only do so in the limits of your cultural boundaries. Treat her as you would any other woman you are not married to until you decide for sure to end your marriage.
The sensible thing for you to do now is to wait. Give yourself enough time to think things through, give it another year or two or more, and let your passion take the test of time. I will not talk to you about your “duty” towards your family. Your relationship with your wife should be based on love not on obligation.
In your waiting period explore your relationship with your wife. Communicate with her, spend time with her, and really get to know her. I am sure you will discover many things about her which you overlooked before because you were looking in the other direction.
Most of the people in a similar situation, who choose to wait a reasonable amount of time, discover that what they thought was a NEW love, was nothing but infatuation, a passing fancy. Instead of starting a new relationship with another person they find new love and respect for their husband or wife.
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